Shaadi sey pehley donon afraad apni shakhsiyat ka behetreen pehlu samney latey hain le'haza donon ek doosrey ki khoobiyon sey aagah hotey hain magar shaadi kay baad mehboob kay liye mushkil ho jata hai kay woh apni shakhsiyat ka sirf roshan pehlu hi samney laey iss liye kuch arsey ba'ad mehboob ki shakhsiyat kay taareek pehlu bhi samney aaney lagtey hain kyun kay mehboob ek insaan hai le'haza woh bhi aam insaanon ki tarah khoobiyon aur khamiyon ka majmoo'aa hota hai waisey bhi aankhon sey ishq ki patti utarney kay ba'ad mehboob ki ma'amooli khaamiya'n bhi numaya ho kar nazar aaney lagti hain iss tarah shaadi kay kuch arsey ba'ad mohabbat ka yeh taj mahal dharraam sey zamee'n bos ho jata hai.

       Doosri taraf khandaan ki taraf sey taey shuda shaadyion ki nakaami ki sharah bohut hi kam hai humarey apney bohut barey khandaan mein talaq ki sharah 3% sey zyada nahin magar iss tarah ki shaadiyon mein ek qabahat hai kay inn mein amooman larkey larkii ki pasand aur na pasand ka khayal nahin rakha jata hai .(mohabbat aur pasand mein farq hai) jab kay Quran majeed mein irshaad hai kay "Nikah karo jo tumhey pasand aaein, aurton sey do, do aur teen teen aur char char aur agar yeh khauf ho kay insaaf na kar sako gey to ek sey" (Surah Al.Nisa : 3)

       Islam mein shaadi kay liey larki ki razamandi zaroori hai taa'hum iss kay sath wali ki ijazat bhi zaroori hai. Allah kay nabi kareem ka bhi irshaad hai, "Aurton ko unn ki pasand kay shohro'n se nikah karao" (Hakim) Huzoor ney nikah sey pehley aurat ko dekh leney ka hukum diya hai ya kam az kam mashwara diya hai. (Ibn-e-maja, abu daud, tirmazi, muslim, masnad-e-ahmed)